Monday, October 1, 2012

Completing the Puzzle

As mentioned before, my oldest son has autism.  Really, he has vaccine-injury/mercury poisoning - but his diagnosis says autism.  Different docs have diagnosed him with different variations of autism ~ autism, high functioning autism, pervasive development disorder, and Asperger's.  Plus, he's also been diagnosed with multiple add-ons through the years. 

My son is tough case.  Tough to figure out and tough to treat.  And after doing nine years of intense biomedical treatment (read:  we've pretty much done it all) and diet, I was really thinking that I had failed my son.  Although we had completed part of his "puzzle", I was really thinking that we would never find the remaining pieces and that his future was quite bleak.

As kind of a last resort - because we just didn't know what to do anymore - we sent my son to an amazing farming-based therapeutic boarding school.  I had no idea what to expect.  I really didn't expect much else than a break for our family - a desperately needed break from my son's disturbing behaviors.  But this school has far surpassed all expectations.  When my son visited last month for his "summer break", he was truly happy for the first time in his life.  And I enjoyed him for the first time since he was a tiny baby (as sad as that is).  We see wondrous changes in my son - real changes inside of him.  We don't really understand it completely, but somehow his school has allowed him to learn how to "be" - and has allowed him to be at peace.  And now we are able to finally see the full benefits of his vast biomedical treatment. 

While I think that my son will always have minor traces of autism, I now have great joy and hope for his future!  I think he will have a wonderful and joyful life.  And I think that we may actually complete his puzzle! :)

Monday, September 24, 2012


The past year has been difficult, to say the least.  My oldest son - my 13 year old with autism - continued to regress.  And regress.  And regress.  We spent lots of money to send him to a special private day school, which only led to more regression.  We pulled him out and put him in 6th grade at our local public middle school - and he continued in his regression.  And when our local move sent my son to a new public middle school, that was again (of course) another disaster.  In fact, that was the most memorable disaster, given that he was seriously beaten and almost stabbed (only was not because the aggressing boy was restrained on his second day at this school.

And that is not all.  In the past year, I lost two babies :(  My two babies - who were supposed to be The Pure Baby's (PB's) best friends - died :(  My first loss was at 7 weeks, and my second loss was at 13 weeks.  Both were traumatic of course, but my second loss was the.worst.experience of my life (and that really says a lot, as my life has not been easy).

I titled this post "Hope!", because despite all of the sadnesses and difficulties and horrors, I have great hope! :)  I now have incredible hope for my oldest son!!! :) :) :)  And I have wonderful hope for my next baby :) :) :)   And I will share all of this in a series of posts...